A lot has happened since I last posted! I have gained another child in the house. Steven, our grandson, has come to live with us. It has been a little stressful, but we are making it!
The worst thing is my weight. I try and not stress eat but I do it anyways. I have put on about 25 pounds. I cry over it. I get mad over it, but it's a reality. I don't have the strength or energy right now to deal with it. Steven takes a lot of energy right now as he is getting used to so much. I can't workout like I was....I try to make shakes but I just don't get anywhere.
I also thing I am a little mad. Some people that were supposed to be my friends stopped talking to me because I wasn't progressing in the business. It has really hurt me a lot. Then I found out they were talking about me to other people...that hurt even more. One person even recorded what was said. I cried.
So I think I gave up on me for a little while. why? Because I let the thing back in that Satan uses to get me to self sabotage. I do not have a great self esteem. It surprises me when people compliment me. I think it is easier for me to hide behind the fat person then to face rejection of people. Satan knows that's my thing and I let the thing back in.
So the question is....do I continue to go backwards or do I try and move forward? I choose to look at the thing and work on the thing and then get the thing under control and then try again! So for now, no diet updates. Instead I need to focus on getting my thing...my self sabotage out of my life. Your prayers would be appreciated!!!
Debi
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