Sunday as I sat in church and listened to Pastor mark preach a familar story...I understood now more than ever what Jesus felt when he prayed in Luke 22:42 - "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Now before someone says - my suffering is not at all like Jesus' - I KNOW - but my current suffering is a heavy burden for me!!! And it just seems to keep on coming.
I told one of my girls - I feel like an orphan - they said - you are too old to be an orphan. But what can ever prepare you for having both of your parents gone?
Today I completed my first full day back at work...and my first instinct was to want to call my dad and tell him how my day was. Then my suster sent me pictures of writing on my dad's driveway from the neighbor girls...messages so sweet about how they missed my dad. Last night I cried myself to sleep wondering why all this has been happening to me....so so much over the last 5 years...i want to shout - LORD _ TAKE THIS CUP!!!!! But the verse goes on - it is not my will - but God's will that needs to be done. He must have some plan for me - so I will just say - thy will be done.
Beautifully said Debi!!! Love ya' sis!!!
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