Friends or friends???

It is so hard for me to write this blog today...I am feeling lonely. My husband has been working a lot of hours lately and he is my best friend. I have a group of girl friends but truth be told...I don't know how close we really are. A lot of it is my fault...i get busy with Anneshia and don't take time to reach out to them the way I should. On the other hand they don't either.

I am lonely sometimes. sometimes I want to just pick up the phone and talk to another female. Some times I want to go have a pedicure with a friend. I am sure all the drama in my life the last few years has scared some potential friends off...but I did not cause the drama - aren't friends - real friends supposed to stick with you through thick and thin??? That's why it is so great to have my savior to lean on.

See God doesn't drop me when He is busy. He doesn't expect me to have a perfect life. He listens to me and checks up on me all the time. He loves me unconditionally. he truly is the perfect friend. Maybe instead of whining about things I don't have - I need to focus more on what I do have - it is a lesson I am learning from A book I am reading - The Energy Bus.

I have spent far too much energy focused on trying to get certain people to like me and to have friends - rather than being thankful for what I have. I need to cleanse my life of negative energy and focus on positive energy.

I will continue to do the things in this book and see what develops!!!

Maybe I can learn from Mia and Anneshia who have become fast friends!!!

Oh What a Savior!: I am a bad blogger....I let life get in the way......

Oh What a Savior!: I am a bad blogger....I let life get in the way......: "I promised myself months ago that life would not get in the way...but I let life get in the way...but I am so over that! I have had a good f..."

I am a bad blogger....I let life get in the way....

I promised myself months ago that life would not get in the way...but I let life get in the way...but I am so over that! I have had a good first month of summer. I got a new job and I am really really excited about it - those of you who know me really understand this. I moved another daughter back home...i laugh that just about 2 years ago at this time, Tim and I were beginning the empty nest stage and now our nest is full - almost overflowing. I am trying to relax and have more fun....i rejoined the Y - to work out some - but mainly to have activities for Anneshia and I to do together. I have discovered she loves to swim!!!

I have had some disappointments too - but that is just part of life here on this earth. i am working on becoming a Cosmic soldier....and we are not fighting people - but rather a very real demon in Satan. he attacks with lies and I fully admit - I am human and fall for them - just like Eve - but I am working at cleaning my Spirit to go into battle. The first thing I am cleaning is my lack of thankfulness. I have so much to be thankful for and I do not thank God enough for the blessings he has given me - so i am making a list starting today.

1.  A wonderful, loving, loyal, honest and caring husband.
2.  3 beautiful daughters - who do have faults but love their Mommy - who has her own faults with all their hearts.
3. 2 amazing, gorgeous, smart  and adorable granddaughters who grandma spoils rotten.
4. A job with a descent salary.
5. A beautiful house
6. A nice car - not a necessity - but God has allowed this luxury for me.
7. My health - with 7 abdominal surgeries, poor eyesight and this year's cancer scare - I am so thankful i have nothing wrong with my health.
8. A wonderful church!!!!
9. An amazing group of women I have the pleasure to call friends!
10. A beautiful flower garden - I know this is God because I normally kill plants!!!
11. Laughter - what a gift from God!
12. A beautiful world - how can we not thank Him for the wondrous world He created?

i plan on continuing this list in each of my blogs - as i continue to make sure I take time for me!!!!

Great Day

I had a terrific Mother's day - even without my Mom - not that I did not think of her all day! I love my Mom and Miss her terribly. she was a terrific mom! she was an inspiration to me throughout my entire life - even now when she is not here - I still find myself thinking about what she would do - what she would say etc.... Today was good because my family let me just relax. I slept in - I had a great time at church - then I went to a great movie with Kari - my oldest. That was after I received great presents - a Kindle, perfume and candy. All three of my girls called or wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I had a great dinner and kisses from my granddaughter.

Family is all we have. Being a mom can be a thankless job - but God entrusts us to teach our children right and wrong. Although there are times I feel like I fail - I trust that the seeds were planted and they will all grow up into the wonderful young women I know they are. My mom went through her trials with each of us - but we all turned out okay in the end!! So happy mothers day Mom. Thank you for your love! And thank you my dear family for a GREAT DAY!!

Flowers and memories...

I needed some flower therapy tonight....it is the one thing I know I inherited from my mom and dad. They were excellent gardeners. Dad kept an immaculate yard and mom had a green thumb. Tonight I couldn't help thinking about them as Kari and I planted flowers. I miss them. I miss them so much I still cry every night before I go to bed...it feels so weird to not have parents. It irks me to hear kids complain about their parents all day long when I would give anything to just tell mine that I love them - just one more time.

The other night Ashley was looking at pictures on my laptop when a picture of my dad popped up and Anneshia said PAPA...and I cried ..I am crying now. She loved him and yet she will never remember him. she will not know what an awesome man he was...how he taught me so much about life and living things - so I planted my flowers in honor of my mom and dad...so when I look at each bloom and water each flower - I will add something beautiful to this life like they added beauty to mine!!

Family can be messy...

I will never win a mother of the year award. My family puts the fun in dysfunctional - LOL - borrowed that from another family member. I could however win a love my family with all my heart and soul award!!! But family can be messy. I currently have two daughters, one son-in-law and a granddaughter all living with me and my hubby. It is noisy and crazy. But i would do anything for my children and my grandchildren. I pray for them each and everyday and I would do anything for them...and sometimes that includes saying no.

One of my daughters is out of control...she has borderline personality disorder and she refuses to get treatment. Out of respect for her privacy - I will not use her name here. I worry about her. She can be the sweetest person on the face of this earth and the next minute be so angry that it scares people in this family. I have decided after 5 years of dealing with this that I cannot do it anymore. I will love from afar. I will continue to pray for her daily. She has hurt me with her lies, hurt me with her words and hurt others in our family. I know she thinks I am just doing this to be mean - but I really really love her. But I can't make her better and God has really been telling me that I need to let go and let Him handle it.

That is one thing that is very difficult for me - I don't let go and sometimes I am the mess in this messy family. So I am working on letting go and letting God. I am holding on to the fact that I know I raised my girls right and that they know the ways of God...so I hope someday she will turn back to God. I ask you my friends to pray for her, pray for me and pray for my family. We can be a mess - a friend told me recently that my family has more drama than a soap opera - LOL - but we are my mess and I love my family with all my heart and soul!!!

Life worth living....

I will no longer take my life for granted. It is amazing to me that Dad was here and I was with him and just 36 hours later he was gone. I have memories - lots and lots of memories - because my parents knew how to live life. My dad had friends... that is one area I have neglected. It is not that I am unfriendly - I just tend to get wrapped up in my own life and career and forget that life is not about working and paying bills and routines - but about LIVING!!!! So I vow to call my friends more often... to plan spontaneous things with my hubby...to go outside and play more with Anneshia...to take a vacation every year...I want to create memories.

There is a line in the song we played at my dad's funeral that goes, "But memory is one gift of God that death can not destroy." So I vow to live my life and share my time God allows me to live on this earth creating memories...I guess I am creating my own bucket list of sorts - I know it sounds morbid - but I really feel the need to kick life into high gear and LIVE.....and LAUGH and LOVE!!!!

Unexpected suprises

Today is my youngest daughters 19th birthday. When I think back to this day, I can't help but stop and think of what an unexpected suprise she was. You know how they say biorth control pills are 99.9% effective - well my daughter is one of the .1%!!! And then she unexpectedly made her entrance into this world - not at the hospital - but with one small push in a friend's bathroom. And she has continued to suprise me over and over again. sometimes the suprises are good - sometimes they have been not so good - but isn't that true with all of our children??? I think our heavenly Father goes through the same thing with us - not that we suprise Him, but sometimes we do things that He likes, but other times we disappoint Him. But just like my love for my daughter never fails - His love never fails!!!

So today, I celebrate my daughter's birthday and my love for her. I also pray to my heavenly Father on her behalf - because she needs some intervention right now (don't we all?). so God Bless You my baby girl!!!

Lord take this cup....

Sunday as I sat in church and listened to Pastor mark preach a familar story...I understood now more than ever what Jesus felt when he prayed in Luke 22:42 - "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Now before someone says - my suffering is not at all like Jesus' - I KNOW - but my current suffering is a heavy burden for me!!! And it just seems to keep on coming.
I told one of my girls - I feel like an orphan - they said - you are too old to be an orphan. But what can ever prepare you for having both of your parents gone?

Today I completed my first full day back at work...and my first instinct was to want to call my dad and tell him how my day was. Then my suster sent me pictures of writing on my dad's driveway from the neighbor girls...messages so sweet about how they missed my dad. Last night I cried myself to sleep wondering why all this has been happening to me....so so much over the last 5 years...i want to shout - LORD _ TAKE THIS CUP!!!!! But the verse goes on - it is not my will - but God's will that needs to be done. He must have some plan for me - so I will just say - thy will be done.

Loss

Today I lost the first man I ever loved. My dad, my hero, my friend and so many other things to me died unexpectedly. I am so thankful that I spent all weekend with him and several days last week! The emotiness that fills my heart right now is indescribable. I am in shock. I am sad. My head knows he is in Heaven  - not only with God but also with my mom - whom he has missed so much since she passed almost 5 years ago. They had a love that inspired me - that taught me how a marriage should be. I am glad they are together.
But I am sad for the rest of us - I am selfish today - I want them here with me. I want to laugh with them. I wanted so many times to pick up the phone today and call my dad - it was almost a daily ritual.

I would write more about how I am feeling - but the tears have dried out my eyes. I am exhausted - I feel lost!!

Here is a picture of me and my dad right after my graduation last year - I love you Dad!!

Forgive.... and to pray for HIS WILL

What a wonderful sermon today by Pastor Mark Hoover...and forgivem\ness is something I have struggled with and needed so much to hear this!!! Then Satan attacked. Yes right out of the blue he attacked me and I gave into the anger. I was so angry what this poor girl wrote about me on my blog that i wanted to retaliate. I wanted to write a comment to her blog that would have torn her to shreds. But then I talked to a friend - and she calmed me down - if for no other reason than my response would have hurt her...and I do not want that. The situation I speak of really has little to do directly with me and I guess that is what made me so mad!!! That a person would place comments about me and not even know me. But I did not let Satan win - as Pastor Mark said - I will let God deal with her.

God has been dealing strongly in my life recently and I do not want anything to come between my relationship and his - and that is what unforgiving does - it closes you to heavenly things and I do not want that - no one should. God will not condone sin and talk is cheap. You can't pray for a relationship that is ungodly - it doesn't work like that. Praying for God to fix something that is sin  - won't work. I have been guilty of this before. We have to turn away from the sin to let God work in our lives. We will sin again...and He is faithful to forgive us. he is Holy and Almighty but He is also Just and Good. We can't expect him to just condone our sin because we pray and tell Him to give us what we want - it is all about what HE wants.

Lord knows that I have been guilty of praying for things that I thought I needed - but He can see the big picture. He knows the path that is best for me and I just have to accept that!! So I will turn away from the anger and bitterness I felt today and I will forgive this girl... it is what we are called to do as Christians!!!
I will also pray for God's will to be done in this situation and in my life - HIS WILL!!!!

No ones life is a bubble...actions have consequences

Today I hurt...I hurt for a friend and family member. To respect this persons privacy, I choose not to reveal any details This person came into my life in an unexpected and not  so wonderful way - but through the grace of God and many many trials and tribulations - we made it work. Today i heard news that crushed this person and I wasn't sure how to react...I want this person to know they will always be a member of my family!!!

This news has consequences far beyond what I will ever know. It will affect my children and my grandchildren. It affects my friend. It affects the world I live in. So how do you deal with someone who is so selfish to think their actions do not have consequences?? Today's sermon talked about not judging people and believe me - i am trying to not sound judgmental...I just don't get how someone can do the same thing twice in life and not think it will adversely effect other peoples lives??? We do not live in bubbles...the human race is so interconnected that sometimes it is...like the old cotton commercial said - like the fabric of our lives.

The verse Pastor Hoover used this morning -

“Give, and it shall be given to you. For whatever measure you deal out to others, it will be dealt to you in return.”

Remember - this is God's world - he is in control and He is omniscient - he knows all our deeds - and He will return exactly to us how we deal with others. So the next time you feel selfish and do not care what effect your actions will have on others - remember this verse - I know I will!!!!

A Grandma's Love

Today I got to visit with Mia. It was an hour - it went by way too fast. I had bought her some new toys and we had fun playing with them. She was missing her nap time and I could tell she was sleepy - but all I wanted to do was play and kiss and cuddle and take pictures. I took lots of pictures. I put a bow on her head - grandma loves bows. But more than anything I told her how much grandma loves her!!! I just wanted to grab her, her car seat and diaper bag and run out of there and take her home where she could be loved on all the time.

Then I saw my daughter...she was crying...which always breaks a mother's heart. she wouldn't take Mia at first because she was so upset. Mia just stared at her and smiled - you could tell she knew that was Mommy and wanted Mommy to get her. It warmed my heart to see them together - when Ashley took her - she just touched her Mommy's face - like - there you are Mommy!!! The other grandma was there too - but Mia cried when she held her once - It is so mean of mean to say - but that was OK with me. She doesn't know them and as much as I am sure she feels some responsibility for her because she is her granddaughter  I do not believe she is a good placement for Mia. That is all I will say because I don't want to talk bad about her.

The I got to come home to my other granddaughter - Anneshia - who is a little two year old charmer. She did not want to go to bed tonight. I had to lay down in her room - I know bad idea - but she just wouldn't settle down. It was my fault - she had pudding for dessert  - not a good idea to mix sugar into a 2 year old who hates to go sleep!! But I love her and her orneriness!!!

So today's blog is dedicated to grandmother's. I used to chuckle when my mom would say - "If I had known how much fun grand kids were...i would have skipped the kids part." Now I understand. My love for these two little girls is enormous. Now I understand why my Grandma Wilcox always opened her doors to us kids - I think before she died all of us grand kids had lived with her - LOL!!

I will do whatever I can to ensure my granddaughters have amazing lives and I am sure I will feel the same way should any more arrive - hopefully not soon. My love for them is overflowing. I am blessed to be their Grandma!!!

More on Family....

This is a picture of me and my dad after my graduation last May...it means so much to me because I love my dad. My mom passed away almost 5 years ago...she was my best friend!! we talked on the phone everyday...I saw her just hours before she took a turn for the worse and I was called back to the hospital.She apparently had thrown a clot to the lung  - a pulmonary embolism and they rushed her to ICU. Dad had gone home to gather some things before moms scheduled hip surgery. They have lived in Salina since 1989. I never forget wondering how I could make that call - my husband broke all speeding laws getting up to Salina and getting my dad back here to Wichita.
Mom held on - despite all odds. She did not code until dad got here to say goodbye. She coded again after he said his goodbyes and they could not bring her back. She was gone.That was a true testament of the love that they had for one another!! That is also what they taught all of us about family!!Family sticks it out until the bitter end. I have tried to instill that in my children as well...not so sure I did it as well as my mom and dad did - but I tried. Family is more than just being related. I am related to people I have never met...we all are really. What makes a family is the bond of your lives and emotions getting so entwined with each other that you would feel the separation when they are gone. You would do anything to help them in a time of need. family prays for you, family tells you the truth - even when you don't want to hear it. Sometimes families have to show some tough love...I have had to a lot in the last few years. But just like the father in the story of the prodigal son - family always forgives and welcomes each other back.

This is Mia Jo baker - my granddaughter. She was named after me and my mother - JO! Due to choices her mother made - she is currently in foster care...not with family. This pains me beyond measure. I have a meeting tomorrow to discuss the plan for my daughter and granddaughter - I have some tough words to say - because I cannot and will not lose a member of my family!!! I am already raising one granddaughter...but Mia has the possibility of going to a family that I consider family - that loves her unconditionally - that has a strong bond with her. They are her family. God has brought them into our lives and Kristin and I have grown close like sisters. My own sister has volunteered to take Mia - today she even said she would adopt her if it came to that. That's what family does for family!!!

So i ask that you pray for Mia - you pray for me - pray for the Chadwicks - pray for the people making decisions. Pray that God would help us to  open up their eyes that they see what a wonderful and supporting family Mia has - it includes others too - like the Davis and Allenbach families. Pray that Mia will be able to come back to her family!!

What is Love?

Ok - I admit it - I am a sappy romantic. I have sat here tonight and watched the last episode of the bachelor - rooting for my favorite Emily. Then I watch the after the final rose episode and I hear what troubles they have had this last month and it rings true. What is love? It is a word that is about as overused in our society as many swear words are.

God's word has some of the best words (of course) -

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

I am very very lucky to be married to my best friend. we fight, we argue - sometimes we just sit and say nothing. It is not always ooey gooey feelings...but I know in my heart of hearts, I can not imagine my life without him. We have gone through some devastating things...but in the end it was our commitment to each other and our love for each other and our love for God that won. Love is more than a flippant phrase to tell someone - it is a journey. It has its struggles - it has its highs, its lows. One of my favorite author describes it in words much better than I -

"Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day." - Nicholas Sparks

So remember when you tell someone you love them - it is a commitment - make it mean something - because it does. The greatest Love in the world isthe Love our Heavenly Father has for us - so much so that He gave His one and only Son - John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." What bigger commitment is there to pattern our love after than the one God gave us??

Family, Mother and the Branch

I read this quote today - after a particularly intense conversations with both of my daughters -
Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others.  Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

I guess that is the thing that plagues me the most through the last five years....I love my daughters - more than anything in this world...and deep down they know it. We argue - believe me there have been some doozies over some poor choices in their lives - but they are mine. God gave them to me and my exhusband to raise. The guilt I sometimes feel - did I do things wrong - is that why they are leading these lives? Was I too permissive - did I not pray enough - did I etc.... But I also know that there is no perfect parent - other than my Heavenly father.

I know that I have made my share of mistakes - but I also know deep down that I did the best job I could in a world that glorifies things that I can't condone. My oldest daughter is a joy - we have had our ups and downs - but she appears to be stable and happy. She leads worship at her church...she has made a life for her and her husband. And although it pains me to have her so far away from me...I don't worry about her so much!

My other two are still young - maybe they are just "Sowing their wild oats" as the old saying goes. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." My continuous prayer is that the lessons their father, me, their step-mother and step-father all taught them will resound in their heads and that God will touch their hearts and souls and they will turn around back to the ways they should be going!

Here is the last family picture taken when we celebrated my 40th birthday - just a little over a year ago. As the quote above says - the limb is still there for them to climb back on!!!

They tell me to let them go - and I do to a point - but a quote from one of my favorite books explains how most mothers feel - Grown don't mean nothing to a mother.  A child is a child.  They get bigger, older, but grown?  What's that suppose to mean?  In my heart it don't mean a thing.  ~Toni Morrison, Beloved, 1987

Just as my Heavenly father has forgiven me - I forgive you.  I am here for you - you just have to climb back on the branch

Good Day

Today was a beautiful day! We spent the entire morning outside in the beautiful weather God has given us. I post this because I don't want people to think -i am just gloomy and that all of my enormous problems overwhelm me. I enjoy life. I loved watching Anneshia run around the yard and her fascination with the yard work Grandpa was doing!! I loved cuddling with her for a nearly 2 hour nap. I do not take the joys in life for granted.

God is answering prayers...

My dad needed a new place to live - after the house he has rented for 21 years is now going to be sold!  - He found something already.

I have a job interview Monday - after dozens and dozens of applications...someone finally wants to talk to me!!

I will see the doctor this week and will get released to go back to work after major surgery.

I get to see Mia this week - she is in foster care right now!

So it was a good day. I did not think about the problems my children are facing. I enjoyed watching KU win the Big 12 Tournament. I enjoyed watching some of my former students on TV when Heights won the State basketball championship.

It was a GOOD day!! And I praise the Lord for a GOOD Day!!

Sunshine and my Savior

Have you ever wondered why it is so easy on beautiful days like today to feel good?? And why on gloomy days we usually feel gloomy? Well during my recent recovery period after a pretty intensive surgery - I have seen plenty of weather changes and yes - my mood changed right along with it? But if we stop and think about how God created the world - did He not also create those gloomy days? Did He not create the snow...the rain...the thunder and lightning and even the hail? It all has its purpose. He designed it for a reason - the moisture for the grass and flowers, the snow to help the winter wheat - even hail turns into moisture that nourishes plants.

So therefore - shouldn't we as Christians look at the storms in our lives as a chance to get nourishment from our Heavenly Father? He allows us to go through things to get stronger. While we may have questions and doubts about His intentions - and believe me - I have questioned Him many times - He is omniscient - He knows what is going to happen - He knows what we need.

Matthew 17:20 talks about our faith - "Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you." God uses the storms in life to grow our faith. So many times when things are going good - I don't stop and pray as much as I should, I praise like I should. Maybe you are different than me - but I need to learn to worship and praise not only in the storms where my faith is being grown - but in the sunshine - where I should be sharing the great things God has done and is doing!!

sunrises and Sunsets have always been times I have enjoyed the quiet harmony in God's world. I am going to try and focus also on the sunny days He gives us and remember to thank Him for the Sunshine!

Sometimes you have to let go and let God

Today I heard from my youngest...the one who had her daughter taken from her recently. It was so good to hear her voice and it hurt so much when she cried. But I have to remeber - I cannot fix her. I cannot make her do the necessary changes in her life to get her daughter back. But I can pray and I can pray without ceasing. A very good friend of mine reminded me of a verse that I used to sing when I was younger and it really does apply to this situation.Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6). She also encouraged me to use the Serenity Prayer - and I think it really applies to those of us who have loved ones in situations where we are helpless.

I am reprinting it here - that it may help others.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

It is time for me to let go and let God handle this situation. He knows far better than I what needs to happen in this situation. He can see what my human eyes can't. I wish I could say I will not worry - and that I won't continue to try and solve it in my head - I am human and a mom!! But I will recite this as my prayer daily and will let go as much as I can - because I believe in the power of an almight God - for he sent himself in human form - Oh What a Savior!!!

I Will Praise You in This Storm!

I decided to start this blog as a way to express my feelings as I go through some trials and tribulations in my life. I am a Chritian and believe that he walks beside me through it all. But for you to really understand the storm that I am in -

I am the mother to three girls - ages 22, 20 and 18. My oldest is married and lives in North Carolina currently - we have had a few rough times - but we have a great relationship now!! I love her dearly and miss her even more!!!

My middle daughter was a joy until she hit about 16 and 1/2 years old. She had been a good student, a varsity cheerleader and was a beautiful singer! She then met some real thugs and started smoking pot and soon went down hill fast!!!! She dropped out of cheerleading, ran away a few times and eventually ended up in a program at our local children's home! She eventually got kicked out of there and then we had to hospitalize her a couple times for violent behaviors from drugs! She was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and soon ended up pregnant!

She continued to get into trouble after my beautiful grnaddaughter Anneshia was born and ended up going to prison. We gained legal guardianship of Anneshia and she has been with us since she was about 4 months old. She was recently released from prison and unfortunately has been running with the same crowd!

My youngest daughter has had her own set of problems but it seems like when she is around her sister - she really gets into trouble. She hangs with the same crowd when her sister is around and can't seem to make good choices when she is around. She ended up pregnant as well and baby Mia was born last July. She was living with a wonderful family from our church and although she made her mistakes as a young mom - was doing really well!!! She had a large group of people helping and supporting her - then her sister got out of prison!!! Then Mia started being endangered by the people she was hangin with and recently was removed from her care. She is currently in foster care - please pray for her!!

I tell you all this to let you know that I have a God who is strong enough to conquer all these problems!!! Just this last sunday at NewSpring Church - God  knew what I was going through and had a sermon just for me!! He told me "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." -Jesus! So remember - if I can go through all this and still put a smile on my face - it is because Jesus is walking right beside me - every single step of the way!!!